Humor Laughter Stories

WHEN I AM OLD

I will buy new towels and sheets.  I will not use threadbare and frayed ones just because I have them.

 

I will use all my lotions and potions and I will burn candles.  I will not save things for later.

 

I will tell everyone how much I love them whenever the mood strikes — and I will tell them when they do little things that amaze me; simple things they may do every day.

 

 I will buy new dishtowels and kitchen sponges regularly and they won’t smell.

 

 I will spend my hard-earned money on facials and massages.

 

 I will not ever wear my children’s hand me downs.

 

I will try to organize meals or do take-out when I someday have all my grown children around so I don’t get mad when there is chaos in my kitchen and I’m stuck cooking and dishwashing.

 

When my kids tell me that something I am doing really bugs them or makes them feel a certain way I will listen and really try to change my behavior.  This would include things like chewing with my mouth open (which I don’t yet do.)

 

I will throw away chotchkes and evaluate what all the stuff means in my life and who is going to want to have to chuck it after I’m gone.

 

I will re-read my old letters and look at each photo album.  If I’m really good, I’ll scan all my old photos and begin to send them electronically to the people in the pictures.

 

I will tell my kids what it is they do that makes me proud.

 

I will buy good quality coffee and have fresh cut flowers in vases – not just for  special occasions.

 

I will throw out any dusty, dried flower arrangements anywhere in my house.

 

I will not talk about my physical ailments but I will also not live in denial about medical concern.

 

I will NOT go on and on about my colonoscopy appointments, my bad knees and my limitations due to advanced years.  I will try to talk about what I CAN do.

 

I will not focus conversations on the weather or wonder out loud what it is going to do outside.  There HAS to be more to talk about when you’ve logged all those great years.

 

I will make it to Bhutan and Vietnam with my husband and a backpack.

 

I will only learn how to golf if I really want to.

 

I will not re-gift old things of mine and call them “Gifts of the Heart.”

 

I will not wear clothes that make me look like “mutton dressed as lamb.”

 

I will babysit for my grandchildren so my kids can go away for weekends.

 

I will always keep a few pairs of really pretty, more expensive underwear along with all the stuff from Target and Walmart. 

 

I will never stop dancing alone in the house like a crazy woman to the music from “my era,” but I won’t criticize what my grandkids will be listening to. 

 

I’ll try to never refer to things as “better in the old days.”

 

I will sit on my husbands lap more and just simply hold his hand.

 

 

 

1 Comment

  1. Brenda French

    February 14, 2015 at 8:35 pm

    I love reading your short and long notes. Don’t stop.

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